with your own penis?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
