I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
