It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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