I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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