I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
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