Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
