Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
