Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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