I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
