You're a womanizer and a bitch.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think your dad took our porno
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
