at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
high people should be assigned attendants
love makes seman taste better
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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