I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
