Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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