You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
