every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My ass is underappreciated
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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