before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
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