I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
