Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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