hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
