He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
