Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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