Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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