Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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