I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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