We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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