You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
