Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
