we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
