The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
