You can't motorboat a personality
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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