honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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