I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
