Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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