Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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