I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
