WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
This toilet bowl is my home.
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