:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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