Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just pee around me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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