Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
