ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
