Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
