hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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