She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
