dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
