we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
