im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
