I'm really into asian looking animals
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
