dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
as a side note pls kill me
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
