During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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