Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
