i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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