Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Im part way to drunk.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
